Life on the Edge

I know kind of a heavy subject. But not really.
Now this is only my point of view so you can take it how ever you want to.

First with the friends. Friends are a fickle lot. Some friends you have for years and dont know any thing about them. Some friends you would rather not know anything about .
Some times they are there for you and some times they are not. You will do some things for friends but there are a lot of things that you wont.

I have lots of friends but only a hand full of best friends.

Best friends are a different lot. Best friends will tell you every thing and it wont be enough.
Best friends will do any thing for you and expect to get the same in return.
Best friends dont even ask what you need they just give it to you .
Best friends will die for you if need be.
The other thing that best friends will do for you is tell you to your face when you are being an asshole and expect the same in return.
Because best friends dont care about hurting your feelings they only care about you.
Best friends are few and far between.
They are precious if you find one be very careful with them. And tell them your deepest secrets and fears.
That is what makes them best friends. They do not judge you only love you.

Life is a funny one.

It changes by the moment. Life to me is what happens when you get up.
You have to go to the bath room and then think about what to have for breakfast and what to wear today. Where you have to be during the day.
That is what life is. The details between the time you get up and the time you go to sleep. There is not much to say for it but it does fill the time.
The details will take over some times and make you crazy for a while and then you will get a breath and it will be ok again.
And some times it will feel like thats all there is, details.

And then comes living.
Living for me is what happens when a moment in the day is recorded for the rest of time.
Some thing that you will remember for the rest of your life.
I have lots of those recordings. I cherish them , they are what makes life worth living.
Because life is just details.

That brings me to Love.

Love for me is hard to explain some times because it is also a felt thing.
And some feelings are confusing and change from moment to moment.
I tend to live mostly in the feelings place. It is kind of hard some times. I think that some times it would be easier to not feel so much but that is how I am wired.
I love easy and then I have to keep on till it hurts too much and then I move on. I never stop loving I just have to have some where it does not hurt any more.
For me Love is what living is about. It records the moments that will live on .
That is what makes it so hard for me to let go of. I want to record those moments more and more.
When I find some one that I think might be able to go there with me, I dont want to let go till it hurts too much.
If it hurts then it means that some one is not feeling the love in the same way or is not able to feel it.
And that is ok .
I just want to be able to love so that more moments are around in my head for later on.

This is how I am feeling today but maybe I will have a flash of insite tomorrow that will make all this trash.

I also had a bad fall yesterday in the middle of the Downieville downhill run.
I dont think that I hit my head but maybe its part of that.
I was thinking of things other than getting over the big rock .
I did not break any thing but banged up a few pointy bits.

None of this means any thing to any one but me but this is how I am feeling today.

I just want a partner to share the living with.

Life is just the details.

Living is the real deal and should not be wasted.

Friends we can some times do without.

With out best friends we could die.

Love is for ever.

Love Jiro